Unfortunately, virtually every action movie is a formula film, that’s why I find them so boring. The names of the actors and locations change, but you’ve seen the same story a million times. Occasionally, an unusual film will come along, which is about real people, where you don’t know in advance, everything that will happen. But let’s put that aside for now and talk about the many formulas we must endure. I think Hollywood targets the mental level of high school seniors with most of their films. Unfortunately, there are many older people who really haven’t advanced much mentally since they graduated from high school, and they love these films. Anyway, Part I concentrates on the action film genre, Hollywood style. Here we go.

The Hero Never Dies

It doesn’t matter who the hero is, James Bond, Batman, Bruce Willis, Keaneau Reeves [John Wick], etc. the fatal flaws is they will never die. However, they will almost all be placed in scenes where their lives are in serious jeopardy. Unfortunately, there’s no suspense, because we know how it will always turn out.  No matter how dangerous the scenario is, we know the hero will come out of it safe and sound. Ho hum!

But there are times when the hero will occasionally be captured. For example, how many times have you seen a film where, let’s say, James Bond was captured? He will be locked in a metal chair, using thick steel bolts on his arms and legs. We know in advance that somehow, James will escape from a chair that no human could possibly escape from. I’m LOL.

The Hero is Surrounded by a large group of thugs

In many of these films, our hero will walk into a situation where he’s surrounded by 10-15 bad ass thugs, who want to literally destroy our hero. In the real world, all of them will jump on the hero simultaneously and literally beat him to death. But hold on, that will not happen, because in a Hollywood film, all 15 thugs will take turns attacking the hero one at a time. I’m LOL again.

Western Cowboy Hero

In the cowboy version, there will be a shooting scene which usually occurs in a saloon. The hero will walk into the saloon and be surprised by 4 or 5 guys, standing only 10-12 feet away, who are all firing away at him. Guess what? All of them will miss, but the hero will use his little pistol to instantly kill every guy who’s firing at him.

The Inevitable Car Chase

Of course, at some point in most action films, our hero will steal a Chevy or a Ford, and the car chase will be on. There could be anywhere from 25 to 50 cars chasing him. Many, if not all, are police cars, with powerful, high-speed engines, pursuing an ordinary Ford or Chevy. But for some reason, none of those powerful police engines can keep up with the hero driving an ordinary Chevy. In addition, would you be surprised if many of the pursing cars crash into each other or other obstacles? Hollywood wants you to think police officers don’t know how to drive or engage in pursuit situations.

Of course, the police will not use their radios to have other police vehicles waiting for the hero’s car.  But have no fear, because our hero, driving a run of the mill Chevy or Ford, will never be caught, as 50 to 100 police officers will eventually give up the chase. I’m sorry, but I’m still LOL.

Surrounded by Thugs Who Are Firing Automatic Weapons at our Hero

We know there will almost always be a scene, where large numbers of thugs are firing automatic weapons at our hero. Do you think any of them will be successful and kill or seriously wound the hero with those powerful weapons? Ten, twenty, thirty, or Forty guys will be firing at the hero with automatic weapons and all of them will miss. However, the hero, using a little 9 mm pistol, will never miss. Even if he’s shooting behind his back or upside down. And equally unbelievable is how he successfully kills off one bad guy after another. Please read the next section.

The Bad Guys Have a Death Wish

As mentioned above, the scene often starts with the bad guys firing their weapons at our hero. Sometimes they will simply stand out in the open while firing their weapons. But very often, they will start their shooting spree while standing behind a brick wall or a big tree, which provides a solid defensive protective cover for them. But instead of continuing to shoot at the hero while essentially protected from danger, the bad guys execute a death wish. They will take one or two steps away from their protective cover, stand out in the open, take up a shooting stance as if they are on a firing range, and then the hero will instantly kill them.  I am so sick and tired of this.

The Rooftop Finale

Hollywood spends the first 30 minutes of a film getting the audience enraged with the sheer evil of the villain. The audience is so angry, they want to see him immediately killed. But of course, that big scene doesn’t happen anytime soon. They will make you wait until the last 10 minutes of the movie. Does the following sound familiar?

At the end of the movie, there will be a shootout, and almost the bad guys are killed and/or captured by the police. But there’s always one exception as the evil villain, and only the evil villain, will somehow escape. Surprised? But don’t worry, because our hero will see him run away and the pursuit is on. One of these stereotypical scenarios often happens on big city apartment building rooftops. You can bet money the villain will incredibly jump a distance of 25 feet, or so, from one building to another. Of course, our hero will not be deterred by that feat, and he will also attempt that monstrosity of a leap.

However, the hero will often partially miss and wind hanging from the rooftop ledge, sometimes using only one hand. The villain will then seize the moment to send our hero to his death. But if you read the first paragraph of this article, you know that will never happen. Somehow, the hero will incredibly manage to escape from that perilous position, make it back onto the roof, and the fight for survival is on.

Once our hero is back on the roof, he will engage in a vicious battle with the villain. At some point in that drawn out struggle, the villain will mercilessly beat our hero so badly, he will be on the verge of death. But at the very last second, just when our hero can barely breathe or move, and appears certain to die, that will not happen. At the last possible moment, he will magically summon superhuman strength, recover, and kill or subdue the evil villain. I’m LOL again. Everyone will leave the theater knowing the evil villain lost and our hero survived to fight evil another day.

Now you know why I am thoroughly bored by action films.

Next: Hollywood Formulas, Part II Crime-Detective Formula Films